The Great Depression 2009 (Part III):

.... The only problem is, that the Chinese factory that you purchased is owned by the state and they have selected for you a “goodly” amount of workers that are willing to work at pennies a day… however, workmanship seems to be a big problem, as the watches now that are made there do not seem to work. Worse yet, the metal used to make the casings are lead-based (instead of steel) and not only are poisonous, but do not hold up to shipping across the sea. Whole shipments are refused and must be re-made, costing your company millions of dollars.

Meanwhile, Uncle John is having problems of his own. Silly thing, the market. What goes up must come down…but he forgot that one simple little rule. And now all those zero down, zero payments until next year are coming due…and oddly enough Mr. And Mrs. America (whose wages have not gone up in 5 straight years) cannot afford to even pay the interest accrued during those 12 payment-free months added on to the regular monthly payments. They cannot afford their mortgages and try to sell their homes…only to find that no one wants to buy them.

Some people that own the homes the Uncle John holds the Mortgages to have simply walked away from their homes, leaving them vacant. So now poor Uncle John is swimming in other peoples debts and cannot seem to sell a house to sell his soul. All this bad credit on his books does not allow him to concentrate on anything else.

Including the watch factory that had to somehow “eat” all those bad watches made in China. You have asked Uncle John for a loan to pay for those shipments of bad watches made in China…but Uncle John cannot afford to lend you a dime.

Add to that, the market suddenly seems saturated with people wearing watches, from you and your competition. Of course, you’ve concentrated so much on saving money and moving the operations overseas… you forgot to do something about new markets and new products (also known as Research and development….R&D). Now, is seems…all of a sudden people have stopped buying your watches. Added to that, is the fact that people are having a hard time making their own ends meet. Gasoline has skyrocketed, groceries have just cost more than you can believe… so, your little wrist watch thingys are just not as important. Sales drop like a lean balloon.

Because sales have dropped so dramatically, there is no way that you can keep your staff or your factory running. Not only that…but that nice house you were building is now going to have to wait, as you do not have the funds to build anything. You have to tell the builders you cannot meet your obligations. They get mad (after all, you signed a contract) and take you to court to get their money too.

Your property is sold to pay for the assets. You company has to shut down. You and your wife split.. (She only loved you because you were a success, after all.. let’s be honest here)… You end up living in an efficiency apartment in another town…as you had to take up a job. Of course, you have no skills other than running a damned business and building watches that no one wants anymore. So, now you work at McDonalds, and Menards, and cleaning rooms for some local cleaning company. Since none of these jobs are full time there are no medical benefits…. And that’s when you discover that you have brain cancer……

Uncle John had to go bankrupt and sell all of his assets to another bank… and now lives right next door to you in an efficiency apartment, hoping that his Rich Nephew’s passing will leave him enough money to start again (at the tender age of 59). Since he put all of his money into housing, he never bothered to worry about retirement. (don’t matter anyway, because the meager 401K plan he offered his own employees dried up when the stock market tanked last year).

So, do you like this story.. huh? Well, this is the story that is being played out all over our country even tonight. It’s a big pickle… and no one is really sure how to get out of it. Scarey… is it not? Yes, it is!

Spoiled Rotten and Cheap as Hell…

Tips on how to live well on the cheap: Part I (This is from a previous BLOG on..as they say, "Another Network")

Well, yours truly here has done a lot of living…but only recently have I begun to examine my life choices all up and down the dial. With the price of everything (but wages) headed North, one must make some pretty hard choices about nearly everything. And I mean, everything.

What used to be a quick stop at the grocery store has turned into lessons on civics, economics and chemistry. Toilet paper? Just pick up something soft…Now, it can be as rough as sand paper, as long as it’s cheap! Entertainment? That 42 inch HDD TV? FORGETABBOUDIT… Dinning out? All of this is quickly turning into harder choices nowadays.

It’s another BLOG altogether, but I really think that we’ve been way too spoiled for way too long. And maybe we face unprecedented changes, but as a people we have weathered many storms before. There’s no reason to believe we won’t survive this one. We just have to learn new ways of doing things to survive… And being a spoiled brat most of our lives (well, we have.. haven’t we?), it’s not easy to do. Here are some tips from me to you on some of the things that have worked for me…

These are written by the way, from a middle-aged single man’s point of view…and in no way, shape or form am I any sort of expert on anything.. But as one friend put it recently: Experts built the Titanic. Amateurs built the Ark. Enjoy….

Heading: Gas.
Of course, this is the biggie… There have been so many rumors about how to penny pinch on gas now that it has surpassed 4 dollars a gallon (and only looks to go upwards from here). Most of these are Urban Legends and won’t work… some are even dangerous. There is a new breed of driver out there… they call it “hypermilling”. I caution anyone to be leery of this. Coasting downhill (with the motor off) might sound like a good idea, but it’s just damn dangerous. Same with over-filling your tires with air or some other gas other than air…
The best way to save on gas mileage is to simply drive less. Walk or bike…good exercise and best on the pocketbook. If you live someplace that has public transportation, use it. Here in Mayberry, they don’t have such a contrivance, so look into car pooling. Of course, you cannot always do that, so the second best way to save on gas is to…

Drive slower. For you John and Jane Andreitti’s out there… keep your feet off the gas. If the turkeys want to pass you, let em! If they honk at you and flip you off…drive even slower…that’ll really piss em off! You’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you saved money and caused some inbred moron to lose about another minute from their petty little life.. .umm.. did I say that?
Slow down and steady on commutes. On dry, daylight pavement using the cruise control can save you up to 2 mpg on your trip. For stop and go driving (like between stop lights), don’t jackrabbit start and stop.

Plan your route. I have found that much mileage is wasted on just little trips back and forth to the store. I plan my route home to include a stop the store, gas station, movie rental place, and pharmacy. Many times that means I can usually stow the car for the night once I get home from work. Fewer trips. Fewer miles. Less gas.

All those late night infomercials for additives or little add-on devices to your car do not work. Much like those “male enhancement” commercials… just a pipe dream and a waste of your time and money.

Buying your gas in the morning (another urban legend) does not give you more gas because the gas is “lighter” in the mornings. The only thing you get by getting your gas in the morning is probably better coffee.

Letting your car idle while your getting coffee. Nothing pissed me off more this spring than seeing the “fleet” of SUV’s outside the Kwik Trip parking in front with the engines running and the drivers in the store getting their morning coffee and doughnuts. For the 10 minutes you spent in line your car got exactly ZERO miles per gallon. How’s that genius. Shut the thing off!!!

Buying a “Prius”… 40 plus miles to the gallon sounds pretty good right now, don’t it? Problem is, unloading that big ass DODGE RAM 4x4 with the Hemi is going to be next to impossible. Prepare to lose thy shirt! And a new Prius will run you around 28k… with interest rates high (that is, if you can get a loan anymore), and demand high… you’re better off just driving less or buying a horse. Keep the Dodge Ram in the front yard as a monument to our stupidity and conspicuous consumption…

Keep your automobile tuned up! When the “check engine” light goes on, make sure the gas cap is on…if it is… fer cryin’ out loud, get it checked out!! Keep your tires new (even if like me you had to spend a small fortune on a set of new ones). Change your oil…but oil companies (yes those same ones!) that are bilking you at the pump are also telling you to change your oil every 3000 miles. Today’s cars and oils are designed to go a whole lot further… Most cars can go as much as 8k before changing the oil. Cars like mine have a “oil done” digital gage that tell you when it’s time to change the oil.

Locking gas cap. It worked in the 70’s, it’ll work now. Play it safe.

I’m sure I’ll have more later. I have a whole lot of suggestions for travel (driving), but I’ll leave that for another BLOG. I'm working on a new bunch called "Live like a Bachelor...Live like a King!", Saving in the Grocery Store and my opinions in cheap but good living... In the meantime, this is Mr. Tight Ass himself signing off..

Veterans' Day 2009: What it means...

Movie Review: The Best Years of Our Lives (1946):

Starring Fredric March and Myrna Loy (Known best as the duo in The Thin Man series of movies) and Dana Andrews.
This is an old Black and White movie that is pretty serious in it’s underpinnings, but is sure worth a look. You could start out this movie with: …..And they lived Happily Ever After….

Well, what happens AFTER??? It’s over. The war is over, and three weary service men return home from their grueling days in WWII. They hitch a ride together in a “retired” B-17 bomber, and discover they come from the same little hometown of “Boonville, Ohio”. The others quickly discover that “Homer” has lost both hands as his ship in the Pacific had been sunk. He shows amazing dexterity with his mechanical hooks. He’s resigned to his fate (“Boy, you outta see me with a bottle of beer…”), but is very worried about his fiancé at home. She doesn’t know about his disability.

Dana Andrews is the dashing soda-fountain jerk-turned decorated war hero (Fred) as a B-17 bombardier that returns home to find his pin-up wife is living the fast life as “floozy” and has left him far behind. In one scene, where he explains that all the party days were done now they were out of money, and reminds her it was ‘for better or for worse’, and she retorts, “Well, when do we get to the better?”

Fredric March plays the elder Sergeant Al Stephenson, that returns home to find his kids grown and his family self-sufficient. He left his home as a rather stuffy bank president, only to find things have changed since he was gone.

The trio-of servicemen try to find their footings again after losing the “best years of their lives” giving all for their country. Their country doesn’t treat them too nicely when they return, either. This isn’t Vietnam; these are decorated and celebrated war heroes! But, yet they try to fit into a world that has changed and they themselves have lost their wide-eyed innocence, and the ways to fit back into society.

I highly recommend seeing this movie! I think it should be required viewing during Memorial and Veterans’ Days. It says something powerful that definitely resonates today… As the world’s last superpower, we have become very adept at raising powerful military armies. But what do you do with a soldier after he is done fighting? How can he (or she) be de-compressed? How can they become loving and working parts of the world again after all they have seen and had to do, in the protection of their country?

There are so many great lines in this movie. So many poignant scenes. So many great messages of love, patience, understanding, peace and sometimes rebellion of the “old ways” of doing things.

This is just one scene where a very inebriated Al Stephenson and his wife attend a “welcome home” banquet with stuffy bankers and their well-attired wives. He’s about to tell them all what he thinks of them in a very funny (if not woozy) speech.

I’m sure you’ll all agree with me if I said that now is the time for all of us to stop all this nonsense, face facts, get down to brass tacks, forget about the war and go fishing.
But I’m not gonna say it. I’m just going to sum the whole thing up in one word. [Milly coughs loudly to caution him - worrying that he will tell off the boss.] My wife doesn’t think I’d better sum it up in that one word. I want to tell you all that the reason for my success as a Sergeant is due primarily to my previous training in the Cornbelt Loan and Trust Company. The knowledge I acquired in the good ol’ bank I applied to my problems in the infantry.

For instance, one day in Okinawa, a Major comes up to me and he says, ‘Stephenson, you see that hill?’ ‘Yes sir, I see it.’ ‘All right,’ he said. ‘You and your platoon will attack said hill and take it.’ So I said to the Major, ‘but that operation involves considerable risk. We haven’t sufficient collateral.’ ‘I’m aware of that,’ said the Major, ‘but the fact remains that there’s the hill and you are the guys that are going to take it.’ So I said to him, ‘I’m sorry Major, no collateral, no hill.’ So we didn’t take the hill and we lost the war.’ I think that little story has considerable significance, but I’ve forgotten what it is.

And now in conclusion, I’d like to tell you a humorous anecdote. I know several humorous anecdotes, but I can’t think of any way to clean them up, so I’ll only say this much. I love the Cornbelt Loan and Trust Company.

There are some who say that the old bank is suffering from hardening of the arteries and of the heart. I refuse to listen to such radical talk. I say that our bank is alive, it’s generous, it’s human, and we’re going to have such a line of customers seeking and getting small loans that people will think we’re gambling with the depositors’ money. And we will be. We will be gambling on the future of this country. I thank you.

I guess the most touching part of the movie is where “Homer” finally let’s his fiancé in on why he has been so distant, as he leads her upstairs to his bedroom to show her what “living with these things” means. He can take off his mechanical arms, but cannot put them back on by himself. He says, “I’m as dependant as a baby that doesn’t know how to get anything except cry for it..”

She helps him button up his pajama top and says that she will never leave him. She turns out the light and leaves the door open as he stairs at the ceiling, happy tears welling up in his eyes. It’s all very touching and meaningful.

And it also holds meaning for us today. Sometimes we really need to know that our military men and women really sacrifice for our freedoms and lately, our much bellyhooed "rights". And we need to make sure that we do not forget their sacrifices so that we can go about our lives the way we do. But this movie is more than that too... sure, it's a love story...and sure...they are mostly happy in the end... and yeah, it's in black and white and Mighty oldish looking... but it's a great story. One that will stick with you long after the movie's done.

Part II: The Great Depression 2009

…First, you like the idea of making money from your product. But, you want to diversify and make more than just one watch thingy. Wall clocks. Time Pieces. Fine Jewelry with time pieces. Big velvet paintings of Elvis with a clock in the bottom corner. Then maybe instead of just one store, maybe a couple more, in different cities. So far, business is booming and people are loving their new watch thingys. (Some have even bought the Elvis clocks, too!)

Meanwhile: Uncle John is liking the idea of really sitting on his duff and making money. He starts thinking to himself….”Hmm… I could make a lot more money by acting as a bank myself to start-up businesses.” So, he begins a business a bank. He makes a lot of money by providing loans to others for businesses. Of course, in order to start up this type of business, he himself requires start up capital… he gets his from the Government.

The problem is, the Uncle John is a greedy old man that likes money more than anything. Small business he supplies capital are fine, but he wants to get into other areas as well, for bigger and fatter fish. So Uncle John gets into other loans. Things like, oh…Home Loans. Suddenly Uncle J is loaning monies out to big and small businesses, and mortgages. Problem is, CEO John realizes there’s more money lending to home seekers than to small businesses. Even with big companies, he has to wait for their quarterly profit reports to get his money…sometimes only once a year. Loaning money out for home loans he gets his money now.

Back at the “wristwatch thingy company”, things are also cooking along. But, you yourself have become a little greedy. After all, after this time you deserve a good life too huh? A wife. Some children. A couple of trips overseas. A nice house. All this requires MORE MONEY.

Well, it seems that an awful lot of people now are wearing your wristwatches and other companies too have sprung up as your competition. Especially some of these companies from overseas that are making the wristwatches at half your costs, and selling them at a fraction of what you can sell them. Well, some of this you can laugh off. After all, you’ve earned a solid reputation as a skilled watch maker and you know these “upstarts” are just flashes in the pan.
Still, being the cagey businessman you assume you are, you begin looking into ways of trimming your costs, so that you too may be competitive. After looking entirely at the numbers your accountant gives, you discover that your biggest cost is your employees! Why, the scoundrels are eating up nearly 50 percent of your earnings. Especially Igor…since he’s been there the longest, he’s making nearly as much as you are! Well, we’ll find a way to get rid of him!!

Then you hear about this outrageous new Federal law called NAFTA that completely exempts you from taxes if (ONLY IF!) you relocate some of your business in another country. No kidding? Well, you start out “outsourcing” you phone centers and service departments. Before long, you looking at relocating the whole kit an’ caboodle to a far off country called China….

The Great Depression 2009

Okay, I’m re-thinking some things. Actually a lot of things. The worst part about these blogs now, is that I seem to have more to say than I can actually put into words. More than I can type. Life is happening faster than I can nearly comprehend. More than I can say.

There’s the personal things… about the adjustments of the human heart. Why one man is better than another in a woman’s heart. What the mechanisms are that allow us to “move on” and love again. The wanton of the soul…to wander this world. To ask the big questions about ourselves and our fellow travelers. To discover: ourselves, our world, and our hearts.

There’s the practical things: How can I make this fit into that? Or, I really wanted to be this..and somehow I’ve become that. How do I get there from here?
There’s the existential questions: What is God? What is the nature of the soul? What role does religion play in our lives, in the lives of others, in our decisions, and in our everyday life? Does God listen to me when I talk to him? What happens when we die? Do we die? Do we just “exchange planes”?

Tonight, I’m thinking about re-assessing something I put in another blog some time ago. I’m afraid that I’ve been a little too “sugary” about my predictions of our economic futures. I said (many months ago) that we were going to enter into a very “interesting” economic time. Oh, “Interesting” don’t nearly cover it. And I didn’t think we would actually hit an actual “depression”…but folks, here’s the truth.. we are headed directly for that iceburg… and many of us are not nearly prepared for it. Here it comes, baby!

Why? Well, most of the modern economists keep saying that though this will be a “severe” recession, not a one of them (well, at least the main-stream ones) will use the word, DEPRESSION. The word brings up those old pictures in our minds… grainy black and whites of disheveled men standing in soup lines with withered faces and shrunken bodies. We tell ourselves it just could not ever happen again. Could it?

I mean, cmon here… this is not 1929! People will not have to eat cooked squirrels or beg for food on the streets! This is just not going to happen! Well, no.. I do not think it will come to that… but I’m afraid I see something that comes mighty close to this.

Why I think what I think: Okay.. this is the crux of the biscuit (as Frank Zappa would want to say).. is how do we handle “capitalism” in the new world? Once upon a time, there was a pretty good animated movie “short” from Walt Disney (of all people) that explained the whole idea behind capitalism pretty well. The idea went something like this:

Okay. I discovered that I like time. Oddly enough I built a new thing called a “watch”… oooohhh. It has a big hand and a little hand and even counts seconds, which I love. I put this little gizmo thing together with gears and springs and things.. and it works pretty well. It can tell you that it’s nearly suppertime, or time for me to get up in the morning. Now, my next-door neighbor notices me looking at my wrist on my way out to work one day and asks, “what is that?” I tell him it’s a time piece and I call it “a watch”.

Well, he’s all excited about this, and starts thinking to himself…”hmm.. I bet I could use something like that too.” So, he asks, “Where did you get that watch-thingy?” You tell him that you made it yourself. He says, “well.. do you think you could make me one?” You say, “well, it took me quite a bit of time...” He says, “Well, I tell you what. You build the thing for me and I’ll pay you for it.”
Suddenly, you start thinking this is a good thing. I’ll make some money off from this watch thingy I built. So you make another one. Meanwhile, your neighbor starts raving about what a cool thingy this wristwatch is…see? Even tells time! Well, then suddenly more and more people want your watch thingy to adorn their wrists. Well, orders start piling in for everyone in the neighborhood to buy from you this thingy. So many if fact, you have to hire some help to fill all these orders.

Well, to hire help..you need help with taxes, forms, Social Security, Health Care. Also, if you’re going to do this right..you need a store front, with heat and lights, and a cash register. Add to that, advertising (so the thingys will get sold in markets far away from just your neighborhood). And of course, good tools (things like automated machines) to help speed the process of making the thingys. So, initially you’re going to need some capital to start up your business of watch thingys.

You go to your old Uncle John (who you know has a lot of money sitting around), and ask him for some “investment capital” to help in the start up. For him lending you money, you promise him a “cut” or a piece of the profit pie. Uncle John is thrilled, because instead of just sitting in his matress(which he has to pay taxes on), he now owns a business with you and for doing next to nothing, collects money off from you labors (until, of course the loan is paid off). Everyone wins and everyone is making money.

Capitalism at it’s heart is like a well-oiled machine that works very well. UNTIL… that is….