I guess the problem has to be me. I think I drive them to it... that must be it!! I mean, every single relationship (with few exceptions) turn out almost exactly the same. Fiery deaths are they all!
Drunken and violent and awful.. They move on. I long for the shadow of my younger days. Good times...riding the farris wheel.. eating awful cheeseburgers... Driving to some destination... making love under the stars.
When does it become like the song Jack and Dianne? Oh yeah life goes onLong after the thrill of livin is gone
... Sometimes it feels so much like that. Here I am...Cheered by the fact I get my taxes back soon...and get to pay off one of my stupid loans?? THIS IS LIFE? What happened to Suzy Q in the back seat of the car?? Cruisin' and Boozn' (Nope... that's against the law, man!)... Watching that girl slowly...slowly lick that ice cream cone all the way down... ummm..yeah. The "Maybe Baby" thing. Seka. Hot Child in the City.
Only faded shadows of the boy I used to be. That's me now. I thought of myself as a great lover. A good man. A rock Star. Humphrey Bogart. Shane. Jack. Angus. All of them. But, none of them..exactly.
Now, I've quit the facebook thing...just because I realized (with a few exceptions) the only people I'm "friends" with.. are my ex-girlfriends!
I guess growing up and old has it's advantages. But tonight, it the deep dark coldness of another Wisconsin Below Zero night.. it's hard to see what they are.
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