The absolute absurdity of it all. You could say this little “nugget” is truly my “Life in a nutshell”… The next time someone tells you there’s a plan to all this… “there’s a reason for everything…” tell them Dale say... BAH, HUMBUG!

Personally, I blame that verbose, oversold wanna-be “novelist” Nicolas Sparks for giving us ridiculous sentiment like this. Give them this little story, because maybe… just maybe, life is about as arbitrary as it gets….

On the way home today, as I’m leaving my usual parking spot in front of my work, I’m happily enjoying the prospect of doffing my Walmart brand necktie and thinking about making a nice chopped salad and seeing how that buffalo ranch and chicken might taste… along with a couple of cold, Cerveceria Modelo Mexico-s. (Trump wall or no wall).

As I round the corner from Iowa avenue to Vine Street, I hear this terrible screeching sound… like someone spinning their tires around a corner. I quickly stopped at the stop sign, and looked all around me, expecting some hot rod to flame out around me (well, it was near the High School, and one expects things like that occasionally). But, there was no one. No one in front, behind or on either side of me. I continue to make my right-hand turn….and that earsplitting screech came back.

I realized with horror the sound was coming from what sounded like under my hood. Immediately I thought the worst! My engine had just blown up! Um… no. There were no “imminent engine failure” lights (A “feature” of BMW’s I found. Apparently, rich folk like to know when they engines’ burn up…). I stopped, and everything seemed normal. Gas, had gas…. Flux Capacitator… um, fluxing.

I turned the wheel, and I heard the faint squeak, and I knew that it was 1. Me. And 2. Related to the wheels. Great! It’s probably some power steering belt. (Adding up the cost for a mini-Cooper Serpentine belt, minus the national debt, plus the square root of pi = ah, crap! I’m broke!) I decided the best course of action is to not stop the car, and continue driving as long as the car will move… and try to get home.

However, as I’m driving… I revise my self-diagnosis. It appears the problem must be related to the tires, or the breaks, as the squawking appears only when the car is in motion. It does get worse when turning corners. Ah-hah! I think, it is the breaks! It sounds like when your disc brakes are at the end of life, and give you that little warning “squeak.” But, this was no squeak. This was a definite squawk.. Possibly more like a squeal!

Calculating how much new front disc brakes on a mini will cost… I sadly think my last reserves of savings soon to be depleted. Possibly, I could find someone local to fix breaks. However, there were few, if any local mechanics that are willing to change the oil on my jalopy… how would the break thing go? (Replaying several scenes from the movie “Doc Hollywood.”)

As I pull into my usual parking spot in front of my apartment, I decide I will take a hard look at the front wheels. It seemed the sound was definitely coming from the driver side front… and was fully expecting to see smoke, or possibly calipers dangling from under the car.

Why the picture of the walnut? This is what I found lodged in the right, front disc break of the tire. Seems some squirrel decided this would be a great place to hide his prized walnut, while awaiting the winter solstice. The entire unearthly sound was caused by a walnut, lodged between the tire and the brake, and was rubbing against the disc as the tire was rotating.

After prying the nut with a long screwdriver, it was freed from its mechanical prison. Hoping no damage was done to the breaks, I took the car for a drive and observed no ill effects.

Problem solved. Deep breath! And I had a very, very long laugh.