Couple-ers. THE CAR.

 Couple-ers. 

 Okay, let’s talk about THE CAR. I know she loves THE CAR, probably more than anything else on this earth… except maybe her daughter. A 1991 Ford Mustang 5.0 V8 – Black as night. Nice ride. But, I don’t think I would tell her that, now. Oh, I love the car too…. It’s hard not to. The thing is from another era… gas, oil, rock n’ roll, burn out competitions. You know? I have a certain kinship with that era, as that’s where I came from… certainly more so than she ever did. 

She’s younger than me… by some amount of years, I must say. Hers was the era of big hair rock….  OZZY! And hard rock band names like TOOL… and SHED…. And RAKE… and BLOODYGUTSRIPPEDOUT.  Here too, I have a certain kinship.. after all, what self-respecting rock musician hasn’t played Ratt’s Round and Round? Or Crazy Train?

Still, it’s all about the friggin’ car. Of course, I get to hear (over and over again) about the stories where her and her ex-hubby purchased their Mustangs together… ah, sweet love in youth. Well, he had to sell his for one reason or another… and yet, the black ‘Tang rules this roost.

She has a regular, daily driver, so this makes her an admiral with two automobiles within her fleet. I, on the other hand just own one vehicle. We have one parking spot in front of our apartment, and one spot in the Garage. She also has a storage shed where she keeps the Mustang in hibernation over the winter months. That means in early April the beast comes out and stays parked in the Garage.

She parks her truck in the parking stall, car in the garage… leaving me and my little mini to fend for ourselves in the wild. We did strike up a deal where my car at least gets some egress in front of the apartment. Yet, the beast now rules the Garage area from now until late October.

The car itself is in some dire QT, as the doors don’t entirely latch, the left front headlight is out. Normally, an easy FORD fix.. but, these are not your stock headlights, no. These are special HID or “xenon” lights, installed by a “best friend of an Uncle of a brother’s friend who knew how to do these things…” AH, I see.

So, no headlight on the passenger side.

“Yeah, I gotta get that fixed someday…” Well, again I have a more-than-nodding-acquaintance with that expression. I understand.

The beast rumbles like a tiger, which is exciting of course. As long as you don’t have to ride too far or too fast in it. And of course, the appreciative looks from people walking or riding by gives one that Rock Star feeling….  “OOOH, Nice car!” they exclaim. She gets a look on her face, like that of many of the smug lead singers (no, not like me) get when they are loved by the crowd. “Thank you,” she says. What she means is “F--- yah!” and then she squeals around the corner.

Of course, there are the oil/gas/water leaks that happen invariably. This does not sit well with the landlady.. always on the lookout for potential “spills” – which they will charge you for any found. (Or, so they say).  It’s all because life and acreage is taken up by THE CAR.

There are the roads in which she will not drive (TOO BUMPY!), which means that to get from A to B requires a maze-like roundabout way to get to any destination. All the while, she is complaining about everyone’s driving.

All in all, it’s another one of those “extras” one gets to have in a relationship – The Girlfriend (s) from the past in which she must tell every.single.thing. (“Oh? Then he just rolls over? Really?”) and the family (mega-family with mult-branches) and the little patio baubles that light up (of course). The Mustang will forever haunt my nightmares, much like the Christine before her (UGH, I could hear her say… THAT’S a MOPAR product!)… but, I get it.

She would say, “AND HOW MANY GUITARS DO YOU HAVE?”  and I would have to agree that my little “hobby” (It’s not a friggin’ HOBBY!) is at least as expensive as hers. I remind myself it’s a better thing than hanging out in bars, or gambling. And it is nice to have folks notice when we drive by (the old Rock Star in me)… but just once, just once I wish she would let me drive the thing.