Aged Cheese

Lessons of life from an Old and Stupid Man

 

Preface:

My only son and I do not talk like we should. He’s over thirty years old now, and successful in his life. For some reason, it often feels difficult to reach out to him. He rarely calls me or stops over to say hello. I know that he has a busy life with his career, super-woman wife and dogs to attend. It’s a complaint I hear often from many men at my age, and in my position. The Cat’s in the Cradle, you know?

His mother is gone. She died several years ago from cancer. Her and I were cordial to each other, after the initial years after the divorce. At first, we got along for the kids’ sake. Later on, it felt like we were a couple of war veterans with a long history of battle in the trenches. We forgave each other, and that made it easier to talk like adults. So few of you do that.

My son could always talk to his mom. I learned of the real son mostly through her. He would call her and tell her all the rough patches he went through in his life. Whenever I speak to him it was, and still is, “Ah, everything’s fine, Pops. No worries.”

Now, I’ve lived enough of my life to know that not everything is fine. I know. His mom told me that he looks up to me, and does not want to disappoint me. Rare is the instance he confided to me his fears and dreams. I’ve tried to tell him that regardless of what he does, I’m proud as I can be of him. Still, it would be nice to have a deep conversation about the real things of life.

What makes a man a man? Why is love so flippant? Why is money so easy for some, and so hard for others? What is the nature of God and the universe? What is our purpose here in life? Is it really all about making money, and having the nicest toys when we expire?

I’ve had conversations like this with too few of my male friends. Some have surprised me with their insights. Some, I am convinced are full-on conspiracy nuts ready to storm the Capital again. But, at least they were interesting and chock-full of interesting ideas. That’s what I mean by real conversations.

All too many of my male friends resort to the tried and true male grunting known as guy-speak. Such examples are: “Yeah, look at the cans on that MILF! I’d look really good on her…” Or, “How about those Packers?”

I have certainly tried to regale my son with frank stories of my past. Lord knows, I’ve probably repeated many of them, and probably will here too. From these, I hope he takes bits and pieces of knowledge about real life. Or if not that, at least a cautionary tale of how not to live. He laughs (along with me) about my misfortunes and miscalculations. But, there in the heart of these stories are true heartache, and redemption.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.” In just sixty-some years, I think I’ve finally learned to live a life. It has certainly not been without its’ divots. I still struggle with life’s ups and downs, even when I should be shrugging at it all and saying, “Yeah. So Fucking What?” 

Well, as a gift to my son… and to all the sons and daughters out there, I’ve decided to give this compendium of life lessons and opinions. Granted, these are from my point of view. As Groucho Marx once quipped, “Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.” But, maybe. Just maybe someone might read these stories and writings and take away something important from them.

I have written down the sum total of what I have learned so far in my life. Take it as you may. Laugh at the jokes, feel bad for the stupid author. He is obviously not the sharpest tool in the shed. Yet, the fool may have something to teach us all. After all, it was a game that kept death at bay in the movie, “The Seventh Seal.”

Do you want to play a game?