The Massage:
So, after the overwhelming palates of wines, I knew it was time to head to my room. Now, I had more surprises yet that awaited me. The first was when I entered my room. In the few hours I had been gone, they had changed out the towels from the shower, straightened up the room, emptied the trash and left me a nice note with some small cookies and crackers from their bakery.
At first, I was a little taken aback and my Midwest “spidey” sense kicked in…. Someone had entered my room whilst I was gone!! But, the note explained that this is a “service provided by our onboard staff”… wow. Okay. I'm hip, man.
About ten minutes later (I was just about to turn on the television) I heard a knock at my door. What the?? I opened the door and there stood a minute, impeccably dressed (and beautiful) Asian woman. Behind her was a gurney of sorts. Her smile was radiant!
“Hello. My name is Sasha. I would like to know if you would like a massage tonight?”
In my best nearly-redneck-Midwestern-fake-Southern drawl I said, “You’re shittin’ me…”
She laughed and explained that this was a legitimate service offered by the hotel, free to it’s guests. Free? Huh? Wha?
“Yes, sir Mr Glaudell (she also pronounced my name perfectly!), we believe the our weary travelers seek peace and some serenity here, and we offer a sample of our services free of charge. Would you be interested?”
I said I would. She came into my room, pulling the massage table behind her. Then she informed me that I would need to undress. For modesty reasons she produced a soft terry towel with “casa blanca hotel” embroidered on it. I went into the bathroom to strip down. While hidden from site, I explained that I was very shy of my body. I told her I had several…um… personal issues regarding….my weight and my less than attractive back.
Sasha said, “Sir! I am a professional! ALL bodies and ALL backs are beautiful to me.”
Perhaps it was the wine, or maybe just the way she said it… I shrugged and said okay. I lay on the table. She rubbed a generous supply of warm and teak-wood smelling oils on her hands…and then on my back.
For the next 40 minutes, she proceeded to rub NEARLY every part of my body. I was completely at ease… as it was not sexual…but it was sensual.. it was loving…but not personal. Very strange.
In an effort to keep things lite, at some point I told her, “This is the best sex I’ve never had!” She laughed and said, “Mr. Glaudell. You are a funny man.” I told her that with no looks, talent or money, all I have left is wit. Again she laughed, and even the sound of her laughter was relaxing.
Finally, she told me she was done, and asked me if I needed any help getting off from the table. I told her no. She warned me that sometimes people have difficulty after a long session. Well, she was not kidding. I nearly fell on my knees after exiting said table.
So, after the overwhelming palates of wines, I knew it was time to head to my room. Now, I had more surprises yet that awaited me. The first was when I entered my room. In the few hours I had been gone, they had changed out the towels from the shower, straightened up the room, emptied the trash and left me a nice note with some small cookies and crackers from their bakery.
At first, I was a little taken aback and my Midwest “spidey” sense kicked in…. Someone had entered my room whilst I was gone!! But, the note explained that this is a “service provided by our onboard staff”… wow. Okay. I'm hip, man.
About ten minutes later (I was just about to turn on the television) I heard a knock at my door. What the?? I opened the door and there stood a minute, impeccably dressed (and beautiful) Asian woman. Behind her was a gurney of sorts. Her smile was radiant!
“Hello. My name is Sasha. I would like to know if you would like a massage tonight?”
In my best nearly-redneck-Midwestern-fake-Southern drawl I said, “You’re shittin’ me…”
She laughed and explained that this was a legitimate service offered by the hotel, free to it’s guests. Free? Huh? Wha?
“Yes, sir Mr Glaudell (she also pronounced my name perfectly!), we believe the our weary travelers seek peace and some serenity here, and we offer a sample of our services free of charge. Would you be interested?”
I said I would. She came into my room, pulling the massage table behind her. Then she informed me that I would need to undress. For modesty reasons she produced a soft terry towel with “casa blanca hotel” embroidered on it. I went into the bathroom to strip down. While hidden from site, I explained that I was very shy of my body. I told her I had several…um… personal issues regarding….my weight and my less than attractive back.
Sasha said, “Sir! I am a professional! ALL bodies and ALL backs are beautiful to me.”
Perhaps it was the wine, or maybe just the way she said it… I shrugged and said okay. I lay on the table. She rubbed a generous supply of warm and teak-wood smelling oils on her hands…and then on my back.
For the next 40 minutes, she proceeded to rub NEARLY every part of my body. I was completely at ease… as it was not sexual…but it was sensual.. it was loving…but not personal. Very strange.
In an effort to keep things lite, at some point I told her, “This is the best sex I’ve never had!” She laughed and said, “Mr. Glaudell. You are a funny man.” I told her that with no looks, talent or money, all I have left is wit. Again she laughed, and even the sound of her laughter was relaxing.
Finally, she told me she was done, and asked me if I needed any help getting off from the table. I told her no. She warned me that sometimes people have difficulty after a long session. Well, she was not kidding. I nearly fell on my knees after exiting said table.
You could have just poured me from the table into the bed (with the luxurious Egyptian cotton sheets, that felt nearly like silk, but not quite), like a pad of melted butter into a pan. I was just that limber and relaxed. In my whole life, I’ve never felt like that!
I did not know if it was proper or not (still trying to get a handle on the whole “tipping” thing), but I gave her a ten dollar tip. She bowed and thanked me and packed up her things onto the table.
I was already in bed, and nearly asleep already when she asked if she should turn out the light as she exited. I said, “Yes, thank you.”
And that was all I could remember until the next morning.
To borrow a much over-used phrase from a famous movie, “I am KING of da WORLD!”
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