State of State of the Union:  2018

If asked, no I did not watch it.  I think I’d rather eat glass, fiberglass that is.  Now, before you get all up in my grill… I haven’t watched the last several “State of the Union” addresses either.  Like many things these days, the whole thing has turned into a reality TV “must see.” Oh, look… there is Great and Glorious Leader up on his podium, reading a prepared speech (In this case, thank God!) and tell us all what we’d like to hear.  Everything’s great, America!  Let me tell you what I’m-a gonna do. 

Frankly, I found the speeches tiring…. Clinton, George W and yes, even the King of soaring sermons, Barack Obama.  Lettme break it down for you:  State of the union is strong!  America is awesome!  We love our country.  Introduce you to the “survivor of the year” (a symbol of how strong our country is in the face of overwhelming odds…..)  

aka: Everone loves an underdog that wins!  Yeah, us!

Then: Here are all the overinflated things I have done for you this past year.  Oh, and here are all the proposals I’ll send to Congress because you’re my peeps – Oh, by the way….none of these have a chance in hell in passing… but, I think free college for everyone is a great sale point for my re-election… 

Then some video shots from around the room… the bored wife with the pasted-on smile, ditto for rest of stuff-shirt family.  A couple of the sleepy-eyed Congressmen, one of which has nodded off to sleep.  A few shots of glassy-eyed admirers of the king.  About half the time is spent applauding each other.  Then the end game of the speech.  

We are one and one is we and we are all together.  

I am he as you are he as you are me

And we are all together

See how they run like pigs from a gun

See how they fly

I'm crying – (I am the Walrus)

Well, as nicey as Trumpy was, I ain’t buyin’ it folks.  No, sir.  Wolf in sheep’s clothing, that sort of thing.  I like to use “for instances” to put stuff in perspective. 

For Instance: 

“Harold” breaks into your house, steals all your worldly goods.  He steals your money, credit cards, and bank accounts.  He steals your identity, all your furniture and even raids your refrigerator.  Lastly, he takes your liquor.  Bad Harold.  

Well, you know it’s Harold as there were witnesses that saw him break into your house.  Not only that, but he actually brags about what he did on his Facebook page!  So, you do the right thing and call the police to report what has happened and who you think did it.   

Well, the cops are no help as they laugh at you and say….  “Well, you know Harold, right?  That’s just Harold being Harold,” they say.  “He’s just helping you making sure you don’t spend too much money on your credit cards.  It’s because he cares about you…”   

Of course, you are frustrated, mad, and angry.  How could he get away with such atrocities? 

Well, shortly thereafter, a most astounding development; he shows up at your doorstep.  Now, a small part of you can’t help but feel a little impressed that the little jerk actually has the chutzpah to show up at your door.  You certainly suppose perhaps some of your property will be returned, or some money to cover the loss.  At the very least, you would expect a sober and solemn apology, from the little thief.

SURPRISE!  You get NONE of that, except Harold brags about what a great guy he is.  Then he says, “The problem with the world today is that we must work together to achieve great things!  We must continue to work together as a team!”  He promises you of all the great things he will do for you and then applauds himself.  Finally, he turns his back on you and trots away to his golden mansion located on the highest hill. 

So, how would you feel after that? 

Welp, there ya go….