Well, it’s Thanksgiving… like a lot of folks that write pompadours-ly (new word… See, I can do that too, Sarah Palin!) of the vanishing Holiday of “T-Day” nestled right between the two biggest shopping holidays of the year: Halloween and Christmas. Does kinda make ya wonder if God in heaven has to be shaking his head and saying something like… “Man, what a bunch of idiots!”
Thanksgiving, much like it’s Late fall / Early Winter Cousins likes to pretend it’s steeped in “Tradition”… fact of the matter is, we have short memories about a lot of stuff. Tradition is one of them.
Curse you Norman Rockwell!!!
It probably wasn’t until after Mr. Rockwell painted those glistening, happy, rapacious scenes of Thanksgiving and Christmas (along with a healthy dose of Charles Dickens whom wrote “A Christmas Carol” as a lark, while trying to raise enough money to pay for his habitués), where we try as hard as we possibly can to live up to the hype. However warped, fictionalized or untrue, we American’s (especially) seemed to have it hard-wired into our psyche that the holy trinity (Halloween, “Black Friday” and Christmas) of Capitalist and emotional swoon have always been there. And that being “Tradition” we must must must.. live up to it’s expectations!
Well, I digress a bit… because lost in the shouting, football and television commercials… is the Holiday called Thanksgiving. An anomaly on it’s own. A throwback. A square peg in a round, pagan hole. Though school children (especially my age…) have been taught the holiday was about the Pilgrims and the “Indians” working together and having happy fellowship was itself, a fabrication… Thanksgiving alone is a good moment, time out, in our busy lives.
The wonder of Thanksgiving actually lives in it’s name: Thanks and Giving. Wow! Who’d a thunk it? Let’s see the politicians of the age try and use their spin doctors on that. One whole day dedicated to Thanks and to Giving. A moment to stop, re-count and give thanks. We don’t do this enough, I think.
Thanks is a word that inspires humility, trust, humanity and friendship. A lost art these days for sure… But, it’s a good thing to do even if not in a big family, or in a re-creation of the Rockwell Classic. Just sayin’…
Hey, thank you! Thanks God. Thank you friends. Thank you family. Thank you loved ones. Thank you next-door neighbor. Thank you lady behind the counter! Thank you snowplow drivers.
It’s also a personal and interpersonal thing: I thank…. Is what a lot of people at this time of the year happen to write… or say. So…. I would like to write that, to signify that right here in space…
I’m thankful for….
My Life!
Wouldn’t know that from the teenage years (and a few beyond) of my life. There were nights, dark nights. Dark Thoughts. Dark times. Now those seem as parochial and cowardly as they should be. Having survived serious cancer, it would have been stupid to give up what I fought so hard for during my time of need. How many others have thrown or attempted to throw away a life that seemed (at the time) hopeless?
My age: A day doesn’t go by recently that I don’t remark on my encroaching age. People tell me I act and look pretty young. I guess that’s a complement, and I’m happy to get a compliment. But it brings with it a question: How old should I look or act? (haha). I’m finding out that age is really an awesome thing… nothing to be feared really. It’s amazing how perspective, education and experience can calm you. To make peace, or war (if necessary), and to know the difference and the consequences of each.
It’s a stupid “Viagra” commercial… but, it has a good point: These are the days for getting stuff DONE. Visa vie: you don’t let yourself get too much in the way of yourself anymore. I am thankful for my age. I’m thankful that when things go wrong (as they always do), I can find a suitable “fix” or “end around” or substitute… and go on living my life knowing that the sky really isn’t falling.
And if someday it does… I’ll meet that challenge (hopefully anyway) head on, and with a glimmer in the eye…
My friends: Well.. of course. Though I have probably lost the school-boy need to have real pal-around friends (the guys version of BFF’s), I do enjoy what times I spend with them. My friends in the many bands are a special kind, actually (stop smirking, will you!). More like brothers-in-arms than palling around friends. The bands are often more like families. We argue, bitch, complain, gossip… but in the end there’s that undeniable bond that is forged on the stage. Sometimes for the better. Sometimes for the worse. My friends are the guiders of my life. I need them to remind me of my humanity.
The ladies in my life: I realize I have to tread very softly here… as this has always been a source of contention my whole online life (and probably before that as well). Of all the things I have to work on, it’s my inability to successfully navigate the deep and often stormy seas of women. I’m not about to commit sensual hari kari here…
I will say that I have been taught so many things from the women that have been in my life. And not just in romantic or sexual ways either. I’ve learned about gardening, cooking, swimming, common sense, electronics, computers, dressing, how to handle money, and the many textures and levels of someone when they say, “I love you.” Sometimes it doesn’t mean what us guys hear it all….
I realize I still have a long way to go, in this respect. And I know that this prolonged period of not having anyone in my life could be for me to learn the difference of alone and together… and to respect and honor that someone when (or if) it becomes my turn to be “together”. I haven’t been very successful in keeping and nurturing a relationship.. perhaps this “little season in hell” will teach me the hard lessons I must learn. And if it never happens, well… as I’ve learned before… doesn’t mean the sky has really fallen.
Work: I’ve never understood why some people place such demands on themselves at work. And I’ve never really been a big proponent of HARD LABOR. But there is something that is cleansing and righteous about working hard and making a difference. I’ve been blessed with a job that is not very physically demanding (probably why I’m sooooo out of shape.. haha), but most days it’s a joy to behold and helping people out just really makes all the “good gears” in my soul spin and sing.
Balance and Moderation: On the other hand… too much of anything… and I mean ANYTHING is a bad thing. Too much work can be a bad thing. Too much money, alcohol, sex, exercise, water, meat, loud music, Mike (sorry.. couldn’t resist Mike) is always bad because without some sort of balance, we can never appreciate those things which we have. If you only have black and white in your life, how can you ever appreciate the colors?
Family: I don’t have much of a family really. A small one at that. My son I would love to see more often. I’ve been told that it’s natural…and maybe someday around his 30’s he’ll begin to see “dad” a little more often. I hope so.
Also I don’t see much of the rest of my relatives… I suppose it’s my fault, and I’m hoping somehow to overcome my shyness and find a way to get together with them more often than I do.
One thing I do now appreciate and am thankful for though I would say a long time late: Is my parents. I wish I could have honored them more when they were alive. I miss them, and I think I understand them now more that I’ve had to live my life a little more like them.
God: He and I have had quite the trip together so far. I'm glad that he's here with me. You can dis-believe or "yeah, whatever." as much as you like.. but, in my very lonely life... my co-pilot has often been God. I know it don't make sense for a guy so rooted in science and technology as I appear to be, to believe in something sooooo.....oh, old. Or something that seems out of fashion. But, I believe in a loving, living, laughing God... Nothing else really makes sense to me... otherwise.. what was the point of anything? I'm thankful that he listens to me, in my silly rants... he must feel awful for me when I've cried on my kitchen floor... begged him for just one more chance... or asked him for someone to share my heart, please. His silence can be sometimes so aggravating... but I have seen him in all the wonders of the world.. and once.. just for a moment, felt his touch on my heart. More than anything, I am thankful for that.
Finally: Health. Light. Food. Laughter. And the people that figured out you can actually put wine into a box.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!!!
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